Clayton is a co-host of The Shift to Freedom podcast as well as an international relationship coach and facilitator who provides individual and group coaching sessions for both men and women. His goal is to help people become the ideal, most authentic versions of themselves so that they can show up fully in their relationships. In this episode, he talks with co-host Ben Easter about the dangers of people pleasing, the reasons why this behavior is so common, and how to stop people pleasing and start making genuine connections.
“People pleasing brings a ton of limitations and really gets in the way of us being able to create adult relationships where there's vulnerability, authenticity, transparency, and a resilience in the connection where both people can be seen and actually loved,” explains co-host Clayton Olson. If you have a tendency toward people pleasing, you are likely not being your authentic self and may even be struggling to find your tribe. Truthfully, it takes a lot of inner work to reverse the childhood conditioning that reinforces people pleasing behaviors, but it is worth it to build better relationships. Today, co-host Ben Easter talks with Clayton about why people pleasing exists and how to stop people pleasing and start forming more authentic relationships.
Listen to, or watch, the full podcast interview by Ben Easter with Clayton Olson on your preferred podcast channel.
In this podcast, the host covers:
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What is people pleasing? How and why does it begin?
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What are the symptoms of a people pleasing pattern?
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What is the cave that people pleasers don’t want to enter?
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How to operate from self-center instead of people-pleasing
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How people can attract their tribe by being their authentic selves
Podcast Quotes:
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“People pleasing brings a ton of limitations that we're creating and really gets in the way of us being able to create adult relationships where there's vulnerability, authenticity, transparency, and a resilience in the connection where both people can be seen and actually loved.” (12:07-12:23 | Clayton)
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“At its essence, people pleasing is about love. It’s a desire for love. It’s a desire to feel worthy of love.” (12:27-12:34 | Ben)
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“Anybody changing this pattern has got to be ready for their lives to shift drastically because those relationships that are not based on your authentic self are going to fall away or transform in a new dance that might be really uncomfortable.” (19:51-20:03 | Clayton)
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“People that are not people pleasers typically have a set of principles that they operate from regardless of what the external world is doing.” (29:56-30:02 | Clayton)
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“I do think a lot of relationships with people that are people pleasers, the relationships are static. They're not actually growing, because there's an avoidance that’s happening within the relationship.” (32:20-32:30 | Clayton)
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“Your authentic self is the homing beacon that dog-whistles out the people that are your actual tribe.” (35:10-35:18 | Clayton)
About the Podcast Co-Hosts:
To learn more about Clayton Olson visit his website (Clayton Olson Coaching).
To learn more about Ben Easter visit his website (Lucid Shift Coaching).
About The Shift to Freedom Podcast:
The Shift to Freedom podcast is the place where you will find the courage to show up as your most authentic self. Host Ben Easter explores the intersection of business and relationship through humorous and deep conversations. The goal is to move more into the aligned versions of who we are and free ourselves from the stories that limit or hold us back, either financially, socially, emotionally, or mentally. Join Ben and his collaborators, weekly, to start making the shift into freedom!
Listen to, or watch, the full podcast interview by Ben Easter with Clayton Olson on your preferred podcast channel.
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Published by: Dax Hamman