Social Media Algorithms Are Controlling How I Grieve - WIRED

Steven Blum

Gear

08.25.2021 08:00 AM

Social Media Algorithms Are Controlling How I Grieve

What happens to a loved one's account after they pass—and how does their digital afterlife affect the ones who survive them?

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The AI Database

Application

Content moderation

Recommendation algorithm

Company

Alphabet

Apple

Facebook

Google

End User

Consumer

Sector

Social media

The email from my dead mom casually arrives in my inbox one mid-pandemic afternoon, barely announcing itself. “Beverly Blum just commented on a link you shared,” the subject line reads.

For a single glorious millisecond I allow myself to live in a fantasy world where my mother is using social media from some perch in the great beyond.

And then I open the email: “Great piece — Dad.”

Oh, right. My 82-year-old father never wanted to suffer the indignity of creating his own Facebook account, so he lurks under my mom’s name. “Thanks Beverly Dad,” I reply.

When I stand up to make tea, I notice something else: the digital photo frame in my kitchen is displaying a photo of my mom on a subway in DC when she visited my freshman year. She looks like she’s never been happier; we’re on our way to the zoo.

I feel lightheaded, so I sit on the couch until the dog senses something pheremenolly wrong and transforms himself into a warm lump next to my thigh. Then I remember the other jarring images that Google Photos will inevitably show: my mom at my apartment or in the hospital, singing Ray Charles or...



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